Wednesday, May 6, 2009

me, stressed out? nooo

stressed out, burnt out, exhausted in every sense of the word
..yep, that's how i'm feelin

see, my mother, my beautiful mother, she's enough to stress anyone out.
in november she began a 1-year, intense, 20 grand, nursing program to become an RN.
sounds pretty ideal for a mom supporting 2 kids & herself, who doesn't have that kind of money, who can only work 2 days a week (if that), and on top of that is already overly stressed, anxious, and hasn't been in school in about 10 years.. right?

nonetheless, i'm a believer, and when my mom puts her mind to whatever, she can do it. i have no doubt. so of course i was her biggest cheerleader for the school. but all this school has done is stress her out beyond what she can bear, it's depressed her, stressed her, stretched her, and as of today is has officially defeated her. she failed her two classes, one by .2 (69.8), and the other by 1 (69).

it sucks, she was so close, and now she's on a downward spiral. i just want to wisk her away, take her to the beach, let her have a long, relaxing vacation, with no obligations, you know stress-free
because i mean there is good news, she already found another school she could enroll in, meaning with one door closing, another is already open... but still it's so hard. and she's so upset and down on herself. if only she believed in her like i do, if only she saw the potential i know she has.
plus i know she can't help but think about the whole 10,000 bucks down the drain, which blows! and i dunno i feel like i just failed or something, like i didn't pray hard enough, or like i should have studied more with her.. it's exhausting me, and getting to me.

i have this issue, where i want to fix everything, make everything better, and when i can't i'm really hard on myself, to the point i get stressed out, upset, and exhausted. hence, where i'm at now.
but enough with my pity party!

..speaking of parties, how many freaky deaky birthdays can be in one month?!?!
and each one is after more and more of my wallet..
BUT my 2 bundles of joy/best friends' birthdays are this within 5 days of each other's and boy, are we gonna celebrate! 18 & 19, such crucial years.
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..i'm ready for the weekend, clearwater here i come!

ps- my brother is cooking me steak, mashed potatoes, and asparagus for dinner tonight, yum! oh the perks of having a twin brother who loves me.

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i want to bake these sooo bad!!!

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