Sunday, June 28, 2009


my new guilty pleasure:

..tell me this song ain't catchy?! baha

oh yeah!! in case you were wondering, i had a marvelous week!! aaand i finally hung out with my long lost friend, the mall. how is it that when you don't have money you, you love everything, its all in your size and fits and looks as if it was made for you?
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anyone feeling generous??

ps- how is that celebrities are droppin like hot poptarts?! ed mcman, farrah fawcett, michael jackson, and now billy mays!
..whatta crazy week

american idol

all day i've just been totally buggin. i'm frustrated i think?

it all started a couple weeks ago when val and garland were on this podcast frenzy, and were makin us, the interns, listen to like 2 podcasts a day from a conference a few of our pastors went to the weekend prior. anyway, their most promising podcast for us was one that wrecked them entirely and the topic it centered on was idolatry, comparing the idolatry of the Bible to the idolatry of the world today.

it was a really good sermon, very informative, with really good points that hit the message home. the only thing was that this "wrecked" feeling that i had prepared myself for wasn't my idea of "wrecked" at all. when i think of wrecked the adjectives broken, hurt, sorry, lost come to mind, but instead after the sermon was over i felt like complete crap. it was conviction in the strongest, most potent form, but not the kind of conviction where i want to repent and change, but the kind of conviction where i'm completely screwed and even if i do repent i still have far too many idols. it made me feel as if becoming isolated from the world would be the only way to live correctly or something.

i mean, the message roundaboutly said, practically everything in our lives are idols, from celebrities, to family, to friends, to consumerism, to technology, to TV, to love, to a baby. it's insane! and i didn't like it. mainly because i don't know even know what the cut off is. how do you know when you love your family too much that they become an idol? aren't you supposed to love your family? aren't you supposed to hold them in a high regard?
see, i'm only human, and this message i know wasn't intended to make me feel like crap. and i probably took it out of context or something. but i can't help the way it made me feel, nor can i say after listening to it i didn't feel like i should just drop everything and become a nun.. because a small, very tiny, part of me felt like i should, only because i don't want to sin against my God and i don't want to have idols.

but, after listening to this message michelle and i did what any pair of convicted best friends do.. we got slurpees, sat in the car, and talked about it. we were both feeling equally crappy, and after sharing our thoughts we brushed the topic off, and i haven't really thought about it since until today.

see, our (ex?) worship pastor Joel has ventured off into a new, exciting chapter in his life where he is devoting himself entirely to touring nationwide for 3 months with his band mates/brothers as missionaries. he'll be worshipping at churches around the country, using his gift of music as the avenue to which he can share the love of Jesus. the only problem is Joel is a beloved member of our church. everyone loves him, and honestly, he is dang good at what he does, which makes Joel's new transition hard. people have become so accustomed to him as our worship leader that no one else is acceptable. it's become as if they can't worship unless Joel sings which is entirely outrageous. this morning there were even some people who didn't stand up to worship and that bugged me. worship isn't about who's leading and how good they sound but it's about our God and how good he is.

this whole scenario ultimately brought me back to the idolatry fiasco i had brushed off. for some people joel had become an idol. and rightfully so that happened. our entire culture is an idolically-based society. for goodness sakes we even have a show named America Idol! even yesterday i was reading in a magazine and it said that even in this recession though people are buying less microwaves, dryers, and vacations, the number of trips to mcdonald's, designer jeans sold, and iphones being bought haven't wavered at all. it's insane! people are losing jobs, 6 houses are for sale/rent in my neighborhood, not to mention so many houses are getting foreclosed on.. and yet, in the midst of this, we still have time to be completely materialistic? maybe we don't have a Temple of Artemis, but we're a consumer-based society that thrives on what's new, next, faster, and better.

so my point in all of that mumbo jumbo is, our society, we've got issues. we've got idols. we need to re-prioritize. we need to want God more than we want the new whatever. but we don't by any means need to become nuns, or burn all our expensive clothes, or never eat out again, or think everything in our lives are idols, because not everything is. and where the cut off line for love and idol is i have no clue.!! i have no way to wrap up nicely everything i want to say..
so i won't.

Friday, June 19, 2009

36 days

what's the best ending to the longest week ever? oh yeah, longest weekend ever!

as if this week wasn't already long enough with adventure island, rachael's birthday!, movie nights at jason's, church, a field trip to the park, camp planning, and yard sale preparation.. this weekend includes: sleepover tonight at garland & christina's to get ready for the yard sale, then yard sale tomorrow, then sunday is packed with father's day, church, hope ministries, and joel's goodbye for 3 month show/cd release, oh and monday my normal day to relax, will instead be spent at a puppet show..
i guess i just need to get a better attitude..
but i'm not gonna lie, i'm burnt out and exhausted and miss having a summer or at least a break!

plus let's not forget in 36 days my world is going to flip. everything is going to change. everything is going to be different. and my best friend and i will break up. it's pretty overwhelming.

whelp, i need this-
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Sunday, June 14, 2009

you've got mail

dear life,
i'm tired of just an existing in you.

sincerely, jessica

Friday, June 12, 2009


seriously, i want some dangit cardboard love!
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..i mean, even though i don't find a man friend a necessity for my life right reasons being 1, that i'm off limits til july 26th, 2, being that michelle & i have a 20 dollar bet riding on it, and 3, being it's just not a necessity right now.. i will say, a special friend might be nice, one day

in other news, i'm hooked on, so many goodies!

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic gems, right?!

oh yeah- remember my love-hate relationship with change? whelp, the love part of this relationship and i are on the rocks, big time

ps- if you want a good laugh: my brother gave kathy (some of you know her as kathleen) his number tonight, bahaha

Saturday, June 6, 2009


my how the tables have turned!

from bums to babes
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that's what 3 years of love and bestfriendship looks like


as of yesterday afternoon i entered the smart phone world
and became the proud owner of a blackberry pearl
and yes, i'm in love with it.. a little bit

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oh and- i still want to go, anywhere, and everywhere.

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(thanks michelle for helping me re-discover my love/appreciation for a good photo)

ps- get ready! i'm going to write a blog about my top 20 favorite songs, ever. no specific genre, artist, time period. anything goes, whether or not i can narrow them down is the true task. i want to find those 20 songs that i still get excited to hear, the songs that i annoyingly listened to over and over again because they were just that good, the songs that shaped my taste, and ultimately the songs that actually mean something to me in some way or another. oh and i might have you know, the choices probably won't flow, that's just not my thang.. at least, most of the time anyways.

Monday, June 1, 2009

come fly with me

guys, i need a break

i did some good ol' fashioned hard work today, which involved serious procrastination and looking at what felt like an endless array of places, things, and people i wanted to see, experience, and meet. i'm tellin you, my heart is desiring a nice long road trip and a good dose of spontaneity.

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ps-i have 2 papers due tomorrow, 2 8-10 page papers, and nope, i'm not done with either, and yep, i'm running a fever.. i'm taking this a sign from God i need a vacation!!