all day i've just been totally buggin. i'm frustrated i think?
it all started a couple weeks ago when val and garland were on this podcast frenzy, and were makin us, the interns, listen to like 2 podcasts a day from a conference a few of our pastors went to the weekend prior. anyway, their most promising podcast for us was one that wrecked them entirely and the topic it centered on was idolatry, comparing the idolatry of the Bible to the idolatry of the world today.
it was a really good sermon, very informative, with really good points that hit the message home. the only thing was that this "wrecked" feeling that i had prepared myself for wasn't my idea of "wrecked" at all. when i think of wrecked the adjectives broken, hurt, sorry, lost come to mind, but instead after the sermon was over i felt like complete crap. it was conviction in the strongest, most potent form, but not the kind of conviction where i want to repent and change, but the kind of conviction where i'm completely screwed and even if i do repent i still have far too many idols. it made me feel as if becoming isolated from the world would be the only way to live correctly or something.
i mean, the message roundaboutly said, practically everything in our lives are idols, from celebrities, to family, to friends, to consumerism, to technology, to TV, to love, to a baby. it's insane! and i didn't like it. mainly because i don't know even know what the cut off is. how do you know when you love your family too much that they become an idol? aren't you supposed to love your family? aren't you supposed to hold them in a high regard?
see, i'm only human, and this message i know wasn't intended to make me feel like crap. and i probably took it out of context or something. but i can't help the way it made me feel, nor can i say after listening to it i didn't feel like i should just drop everything and become a nun.. because a small, very tiny, part of me felt like i should, only because i don't want to sin against my God and i don't want to have idols.
but, after listening to this message michelle and i did what any pair of convicted best friends do.. we got slurpees, sat in the car, and talked about it. we were both feeling equally crappy, and after sharing our thoughts we brushed the topic off, and i haven't really thought about it since until today.
see, our (ex?) worship pastor Joel has ventured off into a new, exciting chapter in his life where he is devoting himself entirely to touring nationwide for 3 months with his band mates/brothers as missionaries. he'll be worshipping at churches around the country, using his gift of music as the avenue to which he can share the love of Jesus. the only problem is Joel is a beloved member of our church. everyone loves him, and honestly, he is dang good at what he does, which makes Joel's new transition hard. people have become so accustomed to him as our worship leader that no one else is acceptable. it's become as if they can't worship unless Joel sings which is entirely outrageous. this morning there were even some people who didn't stand up to worship and that bugged me. worship isn't about who's leading and how good they sound but it's about our God and how good he is.
this whole scenario ultimately brought me back to the idolatry fiasco i had brushed off. for some people joel had become an idol. and rightfully so that happened. our entire culture is an idolically-based society. for goodness sakes we even have a show named America Idol! even yesterday i was reading in a magazine and it said that even in this recession though people are buying less microwaves, dryers, and vacations, the number of trips to mcdonald's, designer jeans sold, and iphones being bought haven't wavered at all. it's insane! people are losing jobs, 6 houses are for sale/rent in my neighborhood, not to mention so many houses are getting foreclosed on.. and yet, in the midst of this, we still have time to be completely materialistic? maybe we don't have a Temple of Artemis, but we're a consumer-based society that thrives on what's new, next, faster, and better.
so my point in all of that mumbo jumbo is, our society, we've got issues. we've got idols. we need to re-prioritize. we need to want God more than we want the new whatever. but we don't by any means need to become nuns, or burn all our expensive clothes, or never eat out again, or think everything in our lives are idols, because not everything is. and where the cut off line for love and idol is i have no clue.
..man!! i have no way to wrap up nicely everything i want to say..
so i won't.